Completely forgot about that holiday!

Not sure why we eat chocolate in celebration of Easter, I did some googling and found that it’s likely The Man who wants us fat. Since Christianity views eggs as birth and Jesus came back from the dead, eggs equal Easter. So in his infinite asshole wisdom The Man makes chocolate in egg shaped form. We eat them and get fat. The Man, once again, wins.

My eggs had peanut butter in them.

There was also an assortment of dark chocolate packed inside, which I’m not as big of a fan of as my wife is. One, however was dark chocolate mixed with chili. Saying it’s spicy is like saying your mother is fat. It may be true¹, but as I’ve become used to it over the years I can’t really tell. It was good enough, but I prefer my chocolate stuffed with peanut butter.

My wife is going to stick to the regular dark chocolate.

1. Well, last I checked my mother isn’t fat.

It’s April and the weather is crazy. I’m starting to regret not writing about the weather every year just so I can go back and ask myself “Was it really this dumb last April?” and have a solid answer. Some places in Japan got snow yesterday, said the news. Nothing here. Not that I’d mind if there was.

It’s just becoming easier to think of it as a nice autumn day rather than a crappy one in spring.

Going on with strange things, I never imagined myself a coffee drinker. Yet once again, I picked up a can ((tiny metal bottle, really) this morning of AROMA BLACK on my way to work this morning. While I don’t know what the benefits of the aroma are, it is definitely black coffee. Quite bitter, but there are just some mornings where downing it helps me focus.

Goodness, what sort of monster have I become.

The negative stigma that I had attached to coffee was mostly from the people who would stubbornly refuse to be useful until they had a cup in the morning. Thankfully my parents were not this way, but having to deal with people like this in college and my first “big person job” was less than pleasant. It is, of course, unfair to be biased against water filtered through crushed beans, but I do try to do my best to avoid being an asshole.

Not sure how that’s working out these days.

Being the suave internet user that I am, I hit up Wikipedia and found this. I’d like to treat you to a particular quote.

The fruit is nutritious possibly having more vitamin C than oranges and exceeding the calcium content of cow’s milk.[5] Also known as “sour gourd” or “monkey’s bread”, the dry fruit pulp separated from seeds and fibers is eaten directly or mixed into porridge or milk.

Besides an excuse to use the outstanding blockquote HTML tag, this quote gives me the chance to ask you a question. Did you read it as “monkey’s beard” at first? Because it took me two tries to get “bread”. Never mind that “sour gourd” isn’t exactly sending me packing to Baobab Flavor Resort, Inc.

Taking a gander at the bottle, you may notice it has the color of a dehydrated vagabond’s urine. Now, I realize we live in a day and age where we are trying to cut down on the unnecessary items such as food coloring. And that’s fine. But I’m pretty sure food coloring was invented so that we don’t accidentally confuse our beverages with bodily waste. I’m just saying.

As for the taste? Well, I’d like to say that it is the ruiner of worlds for dramatic effect, but it isn’t that bad. Mostly. When it goes down it tastes of Pepsi with a hint of something completely unfamiliar to my boring white man palate. Not entirely unpleasant but I’m not going to go jerk off the family dog out of joy. Now, the aftertaste, that’s a completely different story. What lingers is “Wow, I wish my taste buds didn’t recognize this.”

I got it out of a sale bin at a supermarket, so I don’t feel too shamed. Alas, I wouldn’t pay the approximately $1.63 it would normally take to get one of these bad boys from a vending machine. Pepsi Baobab is an easy pass unless you’ve a fetish for flavor and then, by all means.

Various fish, pickled vegetables, shrimp and other foods made up some of the the dishes my soon to be in-laws offered me. There was nothing bad about it but my stomach was not having it. Was so biazarre. I’ve had all these foods before but never for breakfast. And I felt so sick I couldn’t even finish. Wonder why that was.

Tonight I got a chance to have wild boar. We made it nabe style which is basically a big pot with various vegetables and other shit. Thing is we thought there would be more people and didn’t even make everything that we have and had ore than enough to split between 3 people.

It was good but I learned I really don’t know how to describe food. I mean, it tastes like meat with a little excitement to it. I have heard the word “gamey” thrown around before. Hard to know what that is. I guess this is it?

Solid meat, though. Would eat again.

I had a dinner of okonomiyaki, and it is destroying my bowels at the moment.

Definitely not the healthiest dinner I could pick, but I haven’t had it in so long the offer from a friend to go grab some was hard to pass up. It’s hard to describe what it is exactly. I mean, even reading the Wikipedia page only covers a bit of the experience. The amount of stuff packed into it just makes it such a filling meal. Dolloping copious amounts of mayonnaise, spicy mayonnaise at that, makes the dish so rich and fatty that it never fails to put me into a sleepy daze.

That said, instead of rambling about okonomiyaki some more, I am going to go pass the fuck out.

This was a humongous pear. I weighed it and it definitely moved the scale. Said it was slightly under a kilogram. I don’t know if my scale is fucked, but this pear was larger than both my fists.

So, I had it for a snack today.

I don’t know the powers of pears, but what this massive amount of fruit did do my bowels is unholy. Not only was an hour of my day wasted on the toilet, I have felt something more than just brewing in my stomach. Something is alive in there and it wants out badly. And I am honestly scared of it coming out.

As I don’t have enough nerdy junk adorning my apartment (Really. The place is pretty bare!) when I saw these cans pimping Final Fantasy Dissidia, I couldn’t resist. I saw a good number of available cans, but I had to snag Butz and Tina (FF5 and 6 respectively). The other sides of the cans have Exdeath and Kefka to pair each character up with the game’s villain.

I’m not entirely sure what cans there are all together, but I know I saw Frionel from FF2 and Nayan over at HDRLying got the FF1 and 3 ones. If I can find a FF8 one, I’ll have to buy it. But assuming they made one for each of the ten pairs of characters I might have to catch ‘em all.

Click the image to see the full cans.

Update:
Found this website for the cans. Looks like there are 16 cans in total. One each for the pairs of good and bad guys for Final Fantasy 1 through 10. They ignored FF12! Thank goodness!

In the remaining six, 2 for Chaos and Cosmos, which seem to have Yoshitaka Amano art of all the characters from each side. The remaining 4 just show off the game’s CG and some of the characters as made for the game.

Hmm, guess there is one more game for me to pick up this year!

Perhaps that is the missing link for my fat going away, but I’ll try and pretend that it isn’t.

Fuck you, Marketing class!

But seriously, I am about to start up a Dreamcast game called Eldorodo Gate. And now I want Doritos?

This is some kind of cruel trick by my bastard of a brain, I am sure. I decided to sate it’s foul desires and I came back less handed than I had hoped.

For in this country of Japan I couldn’t find Doritos this time. But I did find Dontacos, which, sound almost like Doritos?

I mean, they are corn flavored corn chips. So how can I go wrong?

ADDENDUM:

Good lord, can I ever go wrong. They do taste like corn soup, like promised. But this is just too weird for even me.