The Results…Are In…

 Cooking and Food, Rants  1 Response »
Mar 192007
 

No, not JET. The sausage.

You know your life is a tad fucked when the most exciting thing going on is breakfast sausage. That said, I just cooked it and it is sitting next to me ready to be eaten.

That’s right folks – quasi-live blueberry-sausage taste reporting. Only here.

And the first bite.

What the fuck is going on here? That’s definitely chicken sausage. Poor quality chicken sausage. There are hints of blueberry and maple syrup all throughout the sausage, but neither very strong or good.

Yeah. That was the worst sausage I have ever eaten.

 Posted by revenantkioku at 7:53 am

Mmmm….What the Fuck?

 Cooking and Food, Musings, Random  1 Response »
Mar 182007
 

So, I was picking up my weekly supply of bratwurst when my friend pointed out the little gem to the left. I… I don’t even know what to say to something like this other than “Yes, please!” The amount of flavors mixed into this package is way beyond deadly. I have no idea what result my bowels will feel tomorrow morning when I enjoy one or maybe even, if I’m feeling adventurous, two of these bad puppies.

To celebrate this masterpiece of sausage making, I’ll be washing it down with another celebrator of flavor mixing, Five Alive. I tried finding a picture of Five Alive online, but I can only find the jazzed up UK pictures and claims that the drink is rare in the United States. This slightly worries me. I’ve seen this beverage in Rochester many times but always in the 1950s style cardboard carton. There’s a 1996 copyright on the container, but at least the experation date is new.

 Posted by revenantkioku at 11:12 pm

Mmmm: Chicken Curry Rice

 Cooking and Food  No Responses »
Jan 282007
 

Fuck yes. It’s delicious curry making time.

Continue reading »

 Posted by revenantkioku at 8:16 pm

Happy Steaksgiving!

 Cooking and Food  No Responses »
Nov 232006
 

It was a moment of brilliance.

I’m standing in line at the grocery store, people around me carts filled with fixings for Thanksgiving and all that shit. Pumpkin pies, cranberry sauce, giant vegetables that look like human heads. All that shit.

And here I stand with a steak in one hand and a forty in the other with a huge grin on my face.

Good times, good times.

 Posted by revenantkioku at 3:35 pm

Side effects may include tiny cocks

 Cooking and Food, Random  No Responses »
Nov 112006
 

So, I’m standing in line with a bottle of lime juice preparing for a night of vodka and said juice, when I spied a four-pack of “Tab energy”.

Okay…well whatever. They make thousands of shitty ass energy beverages, so what’s the harm in spending a couple of bucks to see how terrible it is. (It tastes like shit.) But that’s not the point. I say to my friend “Oooh, new Tab!” and pick up the case. A guy standing in the cashier lane next to mine, apparantly takes notice and starts to talk to me.

“You know that shit makes your dick shrink, right?”

I’m not exactly sure how to respond to this. I mean sure, my massive five inches of manhood may be impressive to the ladies, but why do I want to discuss these details of my potential cock shrinkage with a random man in a grocery store?

 Posted by revenantkioku at 11:13 pm
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